Mommys Time out

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The trip

Hey Girls!! Yes I'm home, sorry I haven't posted but between work and home its been crazy around this house!
So the trip OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As you know I have never been on a plane, let me say again I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE, so Chris knows that I have a phobia of this so as we are walking to the airport he's tryn to be all affectionate and hold my hand to calm me down get up to the section where they do a full body cavity search and they tell Chris he cant walk me to the gate so he leaves me there and now I'm really scared I'M ALONE!!!!!!!!! But it really wasn't that bad, BAD was getting on the plane I sat down NOT NEXT TO THE WINDOW, and got ready so we start taking off and I could FEEEEEELLLL every rock no the run way, I was breathing so hard the guys was all turning around and grinning at me, use your imagination, BUT once we got in the air it was fine, Scott said it was because I was on a small plane, which turned out to be true because the one out of Atlanta wasn't bad at all, except for the foreign guy that was sitting across from me I'm sure he felt violated because I didn't let his butt out of my SIGHT!!! I was checking his shoes for detonators and EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! At one point he fell asleep so I calmed down and started Reading my book, well I fell asleep and woke up and Ole dude was GONE so I'm like OK maybe he went to the bathroom, tick tock tick tock 30 MIN'S later and the pilot says to put on your seat belt cause we are bout to land and he POPS up!! Now I'm all upset cuz the only thing going through my mind was Oh lord please let me be able to fly just this once when I jump out the emergency door! lol But we landed and everything was fine...
So I get to the airport call my sis n law who tells me that its gonna be awhile before she can get to Denver because she has to finish up the house on base and the guy wants her to go somewhere and do something yada yada yada, and wants to know if I can get a ride, GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! So now of course being a smoker I'M HAVING A FIT, and of course I don't have no cigs or lighter for that matter, and what do I forget to take to COLORADO??????????? That's right a dog on JACKET!!! So I go on a hunt to find something, I finally found this sweater for 15 bucks march to the bathroom and proceed to change clothes, and go on a mission for my smokes, so in route of walking I see a MCd's so I go up there to order and tell them what I want and everybody is just looking at me like I spoke an unknown language, and then they wanted me to repeat it, smiling as they asked, I'm think in that they found my Ga ascent cute??? So I see this kid behind the counter that looks like he's a smoker of cigs and other things, and ask him where to get some and he tells me where to go, So I go sit and eat and call my Mom to let her know whats going on and I'm safe and as I'm sitting there a lady sits down beside me and is staring at me talking, and then she does it the worst thing in the world anyone could have done to me at 9:30 am after a plane ride and no cigs in 4 hrs, and I'm eating, SHE BLEW HER NOSE, for those who don't know I don't do the nose blown thing cant stomach it, and I almost convulse, my Mom is like whats wrong, and I turn to the woman and tell my Mom, A lady just blew her damn nose MOM!!!!!!!! I think the lady thought I was crazy! Anyways I finish and go in search of my cigs, get alllllllllllllllllll the way down to the end of the air port and find them, the lady behind the counter tells me they are 6.58 then she asks me if that was OK, because apparently I was looking at her quite weird, since I can buy 3 PACKS AT HOME FOR THAT!!, and I proceed to tell her that at this point I would have paid anything for them, then I ask her about some fire, anything I tell her will do If she can whip up some fire water Ill take some of that, and again people are lookin at me weird, and I finally just ask, and for some reason they like the way I talk! lol Anyways, No they didnt have my fire, so now im in search of this "Smokers Lounge" they spoke of, Find it, it was on the otherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr side of the airport, So I get in there and the chick is tryin to tell me in a nice way that in order to "smoke" in there I have to buy something, so I tell her just bring me ANYTHING, so a 3.00 bottle of water and 2 cigs 5 min later, Im goooooooooooooddd.

Order my shuttle, and in route to CO Springs, meet up with Jenn, and then OMG, The Car, ok at this point you need to remember all those OCD's on being neat and clean, I walk up to the car, Its a Lincoln Town car the new ones the nice ones so Im like yea gonna be a comfy ride Home!!!!!!!!! Then I look inside, In the back passenger window I think she took every PERSONAL Item she could find in her bathroom and stick right there, I have never seen so many Tampons and Pads IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!Then I look in the front seat, and there just for me she cleaned a nice six inch by six inch seat for me, and she made sure that I had a nice comfy pillow of DOG HAIR to sit on! Not to mention the biggest DAMN COOLER in the floor board where my feet go!! Then I see them, the dogs, the drooly I got plenty of hair to cover you in if you get cold, dogs. Lookin at me like YEA buddy we gonna have us a fun trip, because evertime you think your comfy Im gonna jump in your lap!!!!!!!! Then we start the trip and let me just say this Kansas is the most longest damn state EVER, I didnt think we would ever get there, we got on the road at 12:30pm and finally made it to Kansas City, MO at 10:30pm, and then we drove around tryin to find a hotel that was pet friendly!! Finally found this really nice Trucker/Prostitute one that only made us pay FOR ONE dog! Thought that was really nice of them, considering the image!! At the moment I was so tired I didnt care, of course until I got to hear the folks in the rooms beside us enjoying their night, AND we got a full size bed to sleep in since it was cheaper no big deal I can handle that, then about 3am Im awoken to something pushing against my back wanting me to move over, and IM ON THE EDGE, so I holler at Jenn, telling her that I cant go any farther, and I hear this kinda hmmmfff sound, and I realize wait Jenn doesnt have 4 hands, and I roll over to find the DOG between us trying to push us over so her butt could get comfy!!!!!!!!!!! Then I finally fall asleep again, and wake to my phone ringing, its my Mom, Hey You on the road yet? Mom, jeez I just need 4hrs of sleep please!!!!!!!! Apparently she forgot that there was a time difference up there than at home, of course now Im awake, so Jenn hops in the shower, and gets out and I go to get in, Im all into it to , nice and steamy and hot, and then I get SPLASHED WITH ICE COLD water!!!!!!! At this point I just want to die....
So we hop on the road, and start cruisn of course every five min Im tryin to drive with a dog in my ear, DROOOOOOOLLINNG on me, so of course I was miserable, but on a good note I did see allot of cool stuff, not for long since we was doing bout 85 right by them.
I seen your town turn off Steph! I was all "Hey thats where Steph lives!!!!!!" Jenn said who? I said oh one of my bloggn buddies lol. Like I said apparently my accent was pretty popular, because every where we went I was looked at pretty funny followed by a "Where you from?" lol We finally made it home bout midnight Friday night, so we did pretty good time. I was so relieved to walk in my house, it was so long and I had so much dog hair on me I didnt think it would ever come off!
For the record the girls at work LOVED this story of course it was really good to them because they got the affects, but the moral of the story is I enjoyed it and would do it again...... No I would'nt..

link | posted by Mommy at 8:40 PM

4 Comments:

Anonymous had this to say:: Ok first off, 3 packs for $6.00, hello, remember me up here north of you, hello, the one that told you about the straightener and the white strips....... And am leaving you comments even though I don't blog anymore, and we share some OCD's together.....

Second, wow, what a trip. You poor thing, I remember those trips and they weren't fun. You are right Kansas is awful. B-O-R-I-N-G.

You did do a good job with effects even in the writing so it was still a pretty funny story.; 10/20/2006 2:13 AM
RFamily had this to say:: I laughed my butt off! That was hilarious, mostly because I can relate.

I grew up with my dad flying airplanes, so I love flying, EXCEPT, don't put me on a little propeller plane. I'll stop breathing and turn white and my muscles will be extremely tight until I'm off. Put me on the big bird!

You came by my town and you didn't honk or anything?? How rude! LOL I'm still waiting on a certain person to bring her happy butt out this way. I won't mention her name but she posted before me.

Glad you had a WONDERFUL time and that you're back home AND you finally updated!; 10/20/2006 8:57 AM
Heather Noel had this to say:: Talk about a road trip? I think its funny that the "other" people dont understand our southern talk. Whats wrong with them?!! Glad you're home and posted. Havent seen your butt online much.; 10/20/2006 8:59 AM
Mommy had this to say:: LOL, Yea I had a majorrrrrrrrrr trip, glad yall liked the story the girls at work got a really good version if I would have told yall everything you would probaly still be reading I could have went on for HOURSSSSSSSS of all the stuff that happened!!!
Sorry Tiff,but yes it is soooooooo much cheaper for smokes home than up there,ill have to send ya some via email lol!
I hollered Steph doesnt that count for something??????? lol Actually I can handle the flyin thing now I think it was the unknown of what was gonna happen lol.glad you thought it was funny,it is now that I look back on it.
Heather, I know right!!! We dont talk that bad do we??????; 10/20/2006 3:14 PM